Pesky Gremlins Comic 1048 – Indemnified

Indemnified

means to secure against hurt, loss, or damage.  And Fubar has an official legal document, prepared by an actual lawyer, to indemnify him against the consequences of wishing on a monkey' paw.

And, as promised, here is that official legal document:

 

 

DEED OF WISH AND INDEMNITY AGREEMENT

THIS AGREEMENT is made between FUBAR (hereinafter "Wisher") and THE FATE OF THE UNIVERSE (hereinafter "Fate"), regarding the instrument known as THE MONKEY'S PAW (hereinafter "the Instrument").

RECITALS

  1. Wisher acknowledges that the Instrument was enchanted by a fakir to teach that fate rules lives.
    B. Wisher nevertheless wishes to invoke a wish.
    C. Wisher desires to avoid the consequences historically associated with such wishes.

ARTICLE 1 – DEFINITIONS

1.1 "deceased" means SNAFU, restored in a state of full biological integrity, cognitive function, and emotional continuity as of the moment prior to his death.

1.2 "Consequences" means any and all of: mutilation, decomposition, haunting, psychological trauma, financial liability, metaphysical punishment or generally being annoyed.

ARTICLE 2 – THE WISH

Wisher hereby wishes: "That SNAFU shall return to life, whole, healthy, and as he was, and no harm shall come to family, friends, or readers of PESKY GREMLINS as a result."

ARTICLE 3 – LIMITATIONS & EXCLUSIONS

3.1 The Instrument shall not grant the wish in a manner that alters the body of SNAFU with the exception wherein body alterations could be construed as improvements.
3.2 The Instrument shall not impose any toll, payment, or equivalent loss upon Wisher, friends, or reappearing characters.
3.3 SNAFU's return shall not constitute a violation of natural law that triggers retaliatory supernatural action.

ARTICLE 4 – INDEMNIFICATION

Fate shall indemnify Wisher against all claims, damages, and existential harm arising from the wish.

ARTICLE 5 – GOVERNING LAW

This Agreement shall be governed by the laws of fate itself, and any dispute shall be resolved by the original fakir, acting as arbitrator.

ARTICLE 6 – SEVERABILITY

If any provision is found to be impossible to enforce by the Instrument, the remaining provisions shall remain in effect.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the parties have executed this Deed.

The paw, upon being squeezed, remains motionless.

SCHEDULE A – DEFINITION OF "WHOLE" (ATTACHMENT)

Body Part

Condition

Head

Attached. Functional. Recognizable.

Torso

Intact. Not decomposing.

Arms

Two. Attached at shoulders.

Legs

Two. Attached at hips.

Spine

Aligned. Not "crawling posture."

Face

As original. Not "something else."

Odor

None.

Temperature

98.6°F.

Respiration

Present.

Consciousness

Present.

Memory

Continuous with life prior to death.

 

A Little Different

Ned's gremlin picture frame

Here is something that is a little different than what usually shows up here on the pages of the Pesky Gremlins website. The picture isn’t what you should look at. Take a good look at the frame, which was built to appear as if it were put together by one of our gremlins.

The frame was assembled by Ned Serleth, whose MGA is depicted in the picture. The picture itself was done as a collaboration for a story that Ned had written for an automotive magazine. Unfortunately, the article was not published.

Ned writes, “The gremlin frame came first from the scrap pile, then the angles were eyeballed, and finally the welder burned a few holes but left enough material to hold it together.” The rough welds and rust really complete the gremlin appearance.

Thanks Ned!